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Epic Riding - Epic Writing

  • Spring. Classic.

    "The far off horizon impressed me no less. Once again, as in childhood, I saw the soft blue distance inviting me like an open door. And once again I was overcome by the feeling that I was not born for the life of a perpetual stay-at-home among my fellow men in towns and houses, but for pilgrimages through foreign lands and journeys over the sea. I felt the old melancholy impulse to fling myself on God’s breast and merge my own insignificant life into the infinite and eternal."

    ~Peter Caminzind, by Hermann Hesse



    I am already seeing the dark ascension through the La Sals, hearing the trickle of Hidden Canyon's streams, and feeling the oppressive sun of Rabbit Valley. I  am wondering how I will feel when I cross Highway 128, with no Dewey Bridge to greet me across the river.  Am I being overly sentimental about that bridge?

    Of course I am.





    The sand. The wind. And the black muddy river. All of them haunt my nightly thoughts. Those imaginations between sleep and wake. Acting as hypnotics, visuals of far off places and personal records lull me to sleep each night.

    It simply is not spring, without the Kokopelli. How quickly it has become part of my ritual. An annual rite of passage. A classic effort, and a microcosm of everything that I love about mountain biking.

    And again, I am waxing overly sentimental. But the unspoken words and the nearly tangible presence of the ancient ones in these wide open spaces bring out the dreamer in me. And so, in spite of myself, I am once again pining for the Kokopelli. 

    And so am I planning to be at the trail head, my wheels pointing toward the desert, my mojo firmly in tact?

    Of course I am.

  • A Little Help From His Friends


    Win! Susan. Win! Fatty.
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    What would you think if I sang out of tune
    Would you stand up and walk out on me?
    Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
    And I'll try not to sing out of key
    Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
    Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
    Mm going to try with a little help from my friends

    What do I do when my love is away?
    (Does it worry you to be alone?)
    How do I feel by the end of the day?
    (Are you sad because you're on your own?)
    No I get by with a little help from my friends
    Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
    Mm going to try with a little help from my friends

  • The White Rim, Revisited

    Hitting the snooze button...


    Saturday, the second day of the back to back white rim rides started and ended in much the same way--with me lying in the dirt. I awoke groggy, a little sore. No, I was very sore. My ankle was inexplicably swollen and painful. I was snug and comfortable in the bivy sack. Around me the sound of gas stoves boiling water hissed above the wind.

    I decided it would be a good day to sleep late.

    Keith prodded me out of the sack, and soon enough I was spinning along up Mineral Bottom road. Stiff and saddle sore, but surprisingly excited about the day ahead. It is fantastic what the prospect of riding with great company can do to a tired psyche and achey bones.

    As the day wore on I wore out. I climbed as much as Hardscrabble as I could. At the top I found a rock that perfectly fit the contour of my back. A $1,000 massage could not have felt better than that red rock lining the side of the road atop Hardscrabble. I laid there for a while, the rest of the group milling about me snatching goodies from the sag wagon and swapping tales from the recent climb. A few wondered aloud if they would have the energy to finish the ride. I knew I could finish. But I dreaded rising up from my awkwardly comfortable rock.

    Ten miles later I was done. I cleaned the Horse Thief switchbacks for the second time in as many days. I was happy. I was tired.

    And I had a mad craving for a cream soda.

    The most comfortable rock in the desert

  • Whispers on the Wind




    When it seems like the night will last forever,
    And there's nothing left to do but count the years,
    When the strings of my heart begin to sever,
    And stones fall from my eyes instead of tears,
    I will walk alone, by the black muddy river,
    And dream me a dream of my own,
    I will walk alone, by the black muddy river,
    And sing me a song of my own, sing me a song of my own


    ~Black Muddy River, The Grateful Dead
  • Details




    As I wandered about the race course on Saturday shooting and rooting, I noticed things that while speeding through the dust on a bike I would have never seen. Some days there is nothing better than hammering until you can't see, can't think, can't hear.

    Other days, it is nice to simply stand and watch.
  • The Bicycle




    The bicycle is a simple device.  Apply force to a crank and a chain, which turns a cog, which turns a wheel.  Forward progress. That simple act has been pushed to the brink by cyclists for well over a hundred years. From the very beginning people have used bikes to cross mountains, cross nations, and simply enough, to cross the street.

    There is a smooth beauty in the way a bike works. The fluid motion of pedaling, the speed, the control-- all beautiful.

    Naturally riding a bike is appealing to many people. And naturally, those people tend to cluster together. How many times have you nodded or waved to a passing cyclist, a complete stranger. There is unity and friendship in the very act of riding a bicycle. Even roadies and mountain bikers have been known to, although very subtly, acknowledge one another when paths are crossed.

    I have realized over the last few months just how much of an impact the simple act of pedaling a bike has had on my life. And the results were, to me, astonishing. I am not referring to the physical impacts of riding and training. No doubt, my fitness is better because of my riding, but I am thinking of a different impact. One less tangible and obvious.

    I am speaking of course about people.

    As I look around, I see that my closest friends today are people I met because I ride a bike. They are fellow racers and riders. People who at first were just "bike friends", and who are now much more than that. They are people I would not hesitate to help, or to ask for help in any situation. Biking is no longer the reason for the time spent together, but just another accessory to the friendship.

    This is never more evident than when one of these people is in need of real, actual help.

    Keith invited me to race for the Mad Dog Cycles team in 2001. He was recruiting people for a team he wanted to start up. Seven years later and the team is still going strong. In that time both Keith and I relocated, and ended up across the street from each other. Because we already knew each other, it opened the door for our wives and kids to get to know one another. And today our two families are great friends.

    I was thinking about Keith's sister Sharon recently. Sharon rode on the team with us. So did her husband Greg. Sharon recently passed away. She fought brain cancer with all she had. She left behind her husband and two kids, ages 3 and 1.

    And now today, I am thinking of Elden. His wife has been fighting cancer for some time now. Saturday he and his family received difficult news. He wrote that "absent a miracle, Susan only has months to live."

    And now I sit here, and I think of the bicycle again. There is nothing overly impressive about it. And yet, it has changed my life. Without it I would not know so many of the great people I now consider friends. I would not have ever known Sharon. I would not have witnessed the call to arms that so many people answered when Chris and Jefe rolled the Element. I would not know Elden. And I would not ache for him and his family today.

    I would not know of all the support that everyone is offering each other. There would be no RAWROD or KTR or ICUP or CarboRocket, that is none of those things for me.

    My life is better off for knowing these people. My life is better because I can feel a little of the pain they experience. My life is better because of my friends. And really, I am not sure that other interests or hobbies in my life would come close to impacting me the way the bicycle has. I have friends all over the country, simply because we each enjoy riding a 2-wheeler.

    And so I welcome that ache. I know I am still human. I know that someday these same people may be aching for me and my family. And to know that brings me comfort, even when I am not in need of it. I do not know if what I feel helps those who are most effected. I do not know that my sadness when Sharon passed helped Keith and his family. What about Bill Corliss's wife and son? Did my sleepless nights help them rest easier? And I do not know that the hopeful ache in my chest today is helping the Nelsons. I like to think that on some level it is. Maybe just knowing that there are countless people backing you is powerful enough to raise a person above the darkness? I think it is. I hope it is.

    I am drawn each spring to Desert Solitaire. I quote from that book often. And again today I am reminded of something Abbey wrote. "The only thing better than solitude, is society. . . ." I often write about the joy of being alone in the mountains or the desert. But that solitude is only appreciated when offset with good company. What good is there in experiencing a great story, if there is nobody to listen to it afterwards?

    People. Bicycles. A simple, yet powerful combination.


    Thank God for the bicycle, and for the people who ride them.
  • Susan

  • Dust

  • Winter is a Rude Guest

    Christmas Day 2007, Sundance Resort

    Winter... please. Go away. You have over stayed your welcome. Your time has passed. Move along and let spring and summer arrive in peace. No more fighting, no more hanging about on the porch. The snowfall you brought us this year was magnificent. It is appreciated. But your milling around is causing perfectly good spring days to... not be perfectly good.

    The southern hemisphere is waiting. You are late. Go. Now. See you again in November.
  • Alpine

  • That Inevitable Slump

    I would guess that you have been there. Recently returned from a bike trip. Maybe it was in Moab, or Fruita, or maybe it was from Moab to Fruita. You pushed yourself, you saw new places, learned new things and met new people. It was, on every level, an epic.

    And now you are back home.

    You are sitting at your desk, legs heavy, face sunburned, fingers and toes still slightly numb. The world becomes tedious, mundane, boring. Your mind drifts back to the desert, and for an instant you think you can feel the wind and the sun. Your coworkers are oblivious to your plight. They ask "how was your weekend?", and you try and explain to them what it was like watching the sunrise from the crest of a 2,000 foot ledge over the canyon country. You laugh about being on your bike at sunrise, and that you were still pedaling at sunset. But they don't laugh. They look bewildered and uncomfortable. They slowly walk away.

    Yes, life after the euphoria of an epic ride can be dull for a few days. The jet-lag like state of mind and body can persist, turning you into an anti-social grump, only concerned with trip photos, gps tracks and other people's blog postings.

    It is hard to come down from that endorphin rush. Or is it a trickle during an all day epic? When things go right, when the weather, the bike, the trail, the fitness, and the company all combine to create those idyllic days out in the wilderness the everyday routine seems so...routine.

    And of course that is why the epic days are so coveted. If everyday were epic, then epic would cease to exist. The contrast between a normal day, and a fantastic one is compounded by the brilliant light of the desert sun, or the quiet swaying of high altitude aspens. To appreciate being 'out there', one has to experience being 'in here'. That is, inside your cubicles, your traffic jams, and your board meetings.

    And while people who don't ever see the 'out there' won't ever truly understand what you mean when you start talking about cleaning Murhpy's Hogback (they will probably think it sound's dirty), you will understand. And as you sit at your computer, doing whatever it is you do, you will cast your mind back on those moments, and for an instant the sun, the wind, the dust, will all appear crystal clear. And for a brief moment, you will be back.

  • All Mankind is Us

    "Let us not waste our time in idle discourse!  Let us do something, while we have the chance! It is not every day that we are needed. But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late!"

    ~Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot


    Head down, eyes focused on the passing rocks and dust and brush.  That is how I experienced the White Rim on Friday.  No time to look, no time to stop.  Don't stop. Pedal.  Breathe.  Pedal faster.  

    I glanced at my clock as often as I did the scenery.  They were short, passing glances. Calculating of time and space.  Blurred images of monoliths, mesas, and a deep blue sky fighting with a pale, and yet dark, scorched earth.  The paradox of the canyon country.

    ~


    "Around us the Green River Desert rolls away to the north, south and east, an absolutely treeless plain, not even a juniper in sight, nothing but sand, blackbrush, prickly pear, a few sunflowers. Directly eastward we can see the blue and hazy La Sal Mountains, only sixty miles away by line of sight but twice that far by road, with nothing whatever to suggest the fantastic, complex and impassable gulf that falls between here and there. The Colorado River and its tributary the Green, with their vast canyons and labyrinth of drainages, lie below the level of the plateau on which we are approaching them, "under the ledge," as they say in Moab."

    ~E. Abbey, Desert Solitaire

    It would have been shameful to ride the White Rim with my head down, finish, and return home.  And so, I rode it again the next day, with friends.  Slowly, head up, eyes open, jaw dropped.

    Everywhere there was nothing.  Miles and miles of breath taking nothing.  Except of course, it wasn't only nothing.  It was everything and nothing.  It was everywhere, and nowhere.  Sun, sand, rock.  Brush, water, wind. 



    "...at this moment of time, all mankind is us..."


    The vast emptiness was heavy, weighty.  My lofty expectations, my bike, my speed, all swallowed up in a mocking eternity.  I like to think that back to back rides on the White Rim is something significant.  But the land itself chuckles at my indolence.  "You have not seen even the beginning" it whispers.  "You are only wind, come and gone.  I am timeless."


    "What shall we name those four unnamed formations standing erect above this end of The Maze?

    Why call them anything at all? asks Waterman; why not let them alone?

    Through naming comes knowing; we grasp an object, mentally, by giving it a name - hension, prehension, apprehension. And thus through language create a whole world, corresponding to the other world out there. Or we trust that it corresponds. Or perhaps, like a German poet, we cease to care, becoming more concerned with the naming than with the things named; the former becomes more real than the latter. And so in the end the world is lost again. No, the world remains - those unique, particular, incorrigibly individual junipers and sandstone monoliths - and it is we who are lost. Again. Round and round, through the endless labyrinth of thought - the maze."


    ~E. Abbey, Desert Solitaire


    ~


    An urge to return to the desert has already taken root. I feel compelled to be once again, insignificant. To be dwarfed by the rising walls, the steady river, and the constant wind. To feel alone and small, and yet, determined and powerful. For while I am nothing in the vast spaces of the canyon country, I nevertheless feel as if I am everything. And everywhere. I am assaulted on every level with the joy of being in the desert. The paradox of the canyon country.

    The acuteness of the pain that comes from this sort of endeavor is gone as quickly as it appears. That is, left only now are the faded images of my surroundings. The millions of years of winded sculpture, the slowly churning rivers, the smiling faces of friends. The glorious vision of the sag wagon, carrying icy, caffeinated ecstasy in a bottle.

    And someplace on the wind, the smell of beer boiled brats.

    ~


  • White Rim, Back to Back


    2 days, 200 miles, and lots of smiles.  More to come...

    And for those curious about Friday's TT effort, I rode the loop clockwise in 8 hours and 54 minutes.
  • White Rim on the Horizon


    As far as the eye can see, there is nothing but rock and brush.  A slight breeze tickles the scarce vegetation.  In the distance the outline of the Henry Mountains is faint, but visible.  Somewhere below lies the vast tangle of The Maze, Terra Incognita.

    It is time again to return to the White Rim.


  • Mountain, Coaster

    The Lower Coaster Trail


    I pick up my smile put it in my pocket
    Hold it for a while try not to have to drop it
    Men are not to cry so how am I to stop it
    Keep it all inside don't show how much she rocked ya

    Ooh can you feel the same
    Ooh you gotta love the pain
    Ooh it looks like rain again
    Ooh I feel it comin' in



    The mountains win again



    ~The Mountains Win Again, Blues Traveler
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