Cult of the Bicycle

Real Ultimate Power
Hi, this is site is all about bicycle, REAL BICYCLES. This site is awesome. My name is Fritz and I can't stop thinking about bicycles. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:
1. Bicycles are mammals.
2. Bicycles fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the bicycle is to flip out and kill people.

Weapons and gear:

Chainring

Sharpened bar ends

Skanky used shorts

Testimonial:

Bicycles can kill anyone they want! Bicycles eat people ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this bicycle that was riding through town. And when some cager ran a stop sign the bicycle killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a bicycle totally uppercut some recumbent just because the recumbent opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that bicycle have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Bicycles are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Bicycles are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start spinnig classes next year. I love bicycles with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Q and A:

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about bicycles?

A: Bicycles are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, bicycles are very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that bicycles are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, bicycles can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do bicycles do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent cruising, but sometimes they skid. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)